My Testimony (First Draft)

I grew up in a predominantly Buddhist household. I was never deeply religious and I was taught to be self reliant. This led to many problems in my life. I led myself to carry the burdens of life and not share with others. This led me to adopt addictive habits in my life, such as the indulgence in gaming, alcohol and pornography, and instead of facing the issues or work in my life I led myself to my indulgences. The first time I heard about Christ in my life was when I was young in Primary School where during Christmas time we would often hear about the nativity story and sometimes about the life of Jesus. Many of my close friends and classmates were also Christian and they would often invite my family and me to Church on Sundays. I would go with my parents since they were open minded to exposing me to the Church experience but since they were not believers themselves I never had the opportunity to truly experience the love and caring of a Church community and to truly grow closer to God during my early years. I was taught how to pray but being young and naïve I prayed to God to show himself to me, to prove that he existed. I prayed that he would talk to me and answer my prayers. This went on for a few nights but I convinced myself that God could not hear me.

It would not be until many years later that it took an emotional crisis during my secondary school years to return me to Church at the suggestion of my parents, and with their emotional support too. I felt like this time in my life truly helped me to recover from my emotional crisis, but yet again my stay at the Church was short-lived. The crisis was led on by my inability to cope with the stresses at my school and my striving to remain self reliant. However I did not truly learn from this crisis and my harmful habits remained. It took me a second more serious emotional crisis during my college years in the States to reach out to God again. I went to an evangelical event on campus called Impact 1 that strived to share the stories about how God was working in Africa. In retrospect I truly felt the Holy Spirit move through me as I heard the stories and joined in the songs of worship. I was given my first personal Bible at the end of the event and I even talked to others about my new interest in the Christian faith. However even though Christ was knocking on my door, my stubborn heart refused to receive him. I would spiral further into my emotional turbulence and I almost even dropped out of college when I had to take an academic term off to come home to recover. I was blessed that I would be able to return to my studies and even graduate. When I look back into my former spiritual life it confuses me why it took me so long to come to Christ. It took me two crises to both bring me closer to God again. I feel blessed that it did not take a third in order for me to come to Christ. While I was at college I met a good friend who was Christian. When she told me at first it did not really strike me. I had many Christian friends in the past and I associated being Christian with being good. We developed a close friendship and she eventually became my girlfriend. Being a good Christian girl she invited me to go to Church. I was very open to the invitation due to my good experiences with Churches in the past. At first I enjoyed going so that I could take away the moral message from the Church service but I was reluctant to to truly believe in God. It would take nearly a year later for me to come to Christ. My girlfriend was concerned since I was moving back to Hong Kong from the States. I was blessed to find the Church community at Island ECC. Going to the services made me even more curious about Christ so I joined myself onto the Alpha course. The Alpha course was the pivotal point in my Christian life. I could truly experience the community and caring of the Church in an environment where all questions about faith could be asked and answered. I saw God moving through other people's lives and change them and this affected me too. When I look back on my previous spiritual experiences I know understand that Jesus was always knocking on my door and that it was only because of my stubborn heart that I would not let Him into my life. My previous Church going experiences were not a waste because they gradually led me to a true understanding of God. My walk through two emotional crises without faith was a way for God to call out to me and point out the sin in my life. During the Alpha course there was a retreat and during this retreat I truly felt at peace and I felt closer to God. I felt the Holy Spirit moving through me again, as I did before during Impact 1. I prayed the sinners prayer and I truly felt at peace with clarity of mind. I came to Christ. Though through my human eyes it felt like it took me a long time to come to Christ I know and trust in God's perfect timing.

Since coming to Christ I now have a clearer outlook on life. I am still an imperfect person but by God's grace I know that He has always been reaching out to me throughout my life. Since I have accepted Him into my life I can now trust in His power and I know that I have never been alone in my life since He has always walked with me before I even knew His name. With God in my life I am no longer bound to my former bondages, addictions to gaming, alcohol and pornography. I now know that there is God in my life and despite any trouble I face He is all that matters and Jesus will be in my life.